Sooner or Later…

The idea to write about our fun with vegetables came because I found myself leaving comments for new gardeners–comments that seemed rather know-it-all and not btdt.  Then the thought grew that if I wrote some of the stories behind the btdt the know-it-all feeling would leave. 

One of the best stories is the turnip story.  At ballet practice I ran the idea past Grits (my oldest child).  She thought it would be fun.  Maybe it should wait.  Then this afternoon a knock came to the door.  Mom it’s Ms. Becky from church’s husband and he doens’t want to come in.  He wasn’t there for a visit, just to drop off some produce if we wanted some.  The produce…turnips…of course. 

Now this story takes place at least 10 years ago when there where only 4 children in the family.  I love my children dearly but I am not a saint.  This story does not show my best points or maybe it shows them all too well–you decide.

As the previous entry explains I had decided that we needed to be eating more vegetables.  Vegetables are something that one can learn to grow.  Vegetables are desirable because they do not require anyone to get out of bed at the break of dawn tend to their needs.  Vegetables do not leave large nasty messes behind that must be shoveled later. Eating vegetables will not cause PETA to picket.  My garden is not made in China.

Now turnips seemed like a good vegetable to learn to eat.  Turnips are in every old story and are eaten in a variety of ways: raw, boiled, roasted, mashed.  Turnips grow very, very quickly.  What isn’t to like about a vegetable that can be ready to eat in 30 days?

Went to the store and bought several.  Since my experience with turnips could be written on the head of a pin and still leave rooms for angels to dance I choose medium to largish ones.

The first trial went well.  We peeled and sliced one a la Little House on the Prairie.  Maybe even got fancy and did shoestrings.  It went well.  Most of the kids liked their raw turnips and some salt improved things.  Even the one that wasn’t thrilled opined that he could eat raw turnips but not too often.  Great.  Off to a good start.

Now perhaps a good mother would have left it at knowing that if a few turnips were ever planted they would get eaten.  However, there is more to turnips than raw and turnips grow fast.

In the basic cooking world there are only a few ways to cook vegetables.  There’s deep fry, boil, bake, pan fry or drench in cheese.  After chasing the angels away and looking at my pin I decided that the next method would be boiled and mashed. This was my first mistake.

First mistake because turnips are in the cabbage family and boiling only enhances their cabbageness.  It was not the perfume counter in that kitchen.  I know this because the children were determined to make sure I understood it was not the perfume counter.  Still dinner would be served.

At dinner the first thing out of their mouths was “I’m not eating that its gross, it smells gross…” and variations on that theme.  Over and over and over and over.

They stomped on my last nerve.

My dander was up.

I got peeved.

I blew my Irish top.   

You will eat at least three bites before you leave the table or you will sit here until you do.

I’m sure more was said but not exactly what.  They fussed, griped, complained.  I was stubborn and determined, more determined than the four children sitting around the table gagging and complaining.  I suspect that punishment was threatend if they choose not to eat as Grits says she got a week’s worth of dishwashing from that experience.  I don’t remember.

My poor Brian sat at that table.  He backed me up, though I suspect he was no more thrilled with those turnips than the kids were.  He had faced cooked turnips in his own childhood and recognized a lost battle when he saw one.  Did he eat any?  Can’t say but he did stay until the kids finished or left.

I wish I had handled it better.

No, my kids do not like cooked mashed turnips–to this very day they will admit to that.  But they also do not come to the table saying anything is gross/yucky and they will not eat it.  Instead they say “No thanks” or “I’ll pass” or “Maybe later”.  Why?  After we had calmed down I explained that the instant “grossI’mnoteatingthat” is what made me right-now mad–especially when they had not ever tasted cooked turnips.  Instead taste and then pass.  Nobody has to like everything but everyone must be polite.  I do ask their opinion about new recipes.

Did that end the comments?  Not exactly.  We did add a “if you comment and a younger sibling refuses to eat YOU will eat their share AND get a grounding WITH extra chores as punishment”.  This works well to this very day.

I did go back to the books and learned a few things.  Not all turnips are created equal.  Some are better for fresh raw eating.  Others are better for storage and cooking.  Among those for cooking some taste better than others.  No amount of butter and salt can fix an old turnip–feed those to animals.  Bigger is not always better.

As for the smell:  Dear family, the smell of cooking broccoli is not far from the smell of broccoli farts yet you still love to eat broccoli and cheese.  If you can eat a food that smells like a fart you can try cooked turnips in small amounts until I find a good recipe. 

That’s all I’m going to say about that.

Again I am studying the garden catalogs and will be trying to grow some next spring or fall.  The freakish spring we had killed most spring plantings while the drought & 116 heatwave stopped the fall planting.  (not to mention a new baby + 116)

Didn’t earn any sainthood badges did I?

No children were harmed in the living of this episode.