Sooner or Later…

We a fortunate that our arts studio offers a work-study program.  There is always something that needs doing–if you have the muscle they have the credits.

I volunteered to learn mail merge, retype & update their mailing list, and print off labels for the next mailing.  Yes, it would take time but it could be done from home, at midnight if need be.  Yes, it would be finished Nov. 26 and brought to ballet class (saving gas).

Babs gets frustrated by merge but likes how it can sort by alphabetical order or zip codes or both.  The post office wants envelopes sorted into zip code order.  Why machines need that is anyone’s guess, but there it is.  I picture our carefully sorted enveloped thrown into a big bin.  Oh well.

Having learned most of my computer skills the hands-on way I did know enough to type a few, save and see what happens.  First time things where saved to Office(?) data and became password protected.    There isn’t a password on this computer where did that come from?

Next I managed to open a window that asked if I wanted to open the mail merge toolbar.  Yes.  A small icon opened up a recipients list.  The save and open test worked so in I typed 487 names and addresses.  The project took a long time and was finally finished 12:45 Sunday evening or perhaps Monday morning is more accurate.  At this point Little Missey woke up needing a snack, so printing would get done during daylight hours.  Plenty of time.

Now I understand why microsoft is so, so, so…microsoft.

Now I understand why new words are invented in regards to microsoft.  Polite people need something to say to release frustration.  The only other polite option is to eat.

Nothing would merge.  Nothing.

The labels came up blank.  Printed blank.  Yet the message *done* kept displaying.

Doom, doom, doom….hear those Mordor drums?

In a panic I loaded up sick kids and drove to the computer store. 

“Please, when you redid my computer what password did you use?”  None

“Please, could you come and type it in?”  None.  We don’t use passwords & we don’t use that program.

Its 487 names…I promised….487 names due today….

But the word project & microsoft & doomed must be magic in the computer world.  The computer guy (Denise) came to the house and looked things over for 45 minutes.  He does not understand the password issue.  He could not get the merge to work.  He too noted that the system kept messaging that things were done.  Whaaaaa…

Then he mentioned a free program that he uses AND how easy it is AND he would gladly save my addresses, take them to the shop, and burn the discs I needed.  While I took my sick children to the doctor.  So he did.  AND came and installed it into my computer that afternoon.

All for the price of a two liter of diet Mt. Dew.

My son says he must be a true computer geek.

So after proof reading–there was a small amount to do–we tried to print.

First things didn’t line up.  Five tries later one sheet out of 15 misprinted. 

Then the retries would not go.

So at 7:30 pm I called to say I would be there but late.  Then B. explains how to lightly push on the papers so that the wheels can grip the slick label pages.  Just bring them in the morning on our way to Children’s Hospital.  DH,son #1 and son #2 tried while I fed starving baby.

At 11:45 I babysat those pages.  Held each page and gently pushed as directed.  Said calm soothing words.  The printer delivered all 15 at midnight.

Director wants me to explain what happened.  Gladly.  Also will explain that said program can be installed on her computers, including names.

487 names later…