Sooner or Later…

Our Christmas was a very satisfying day, slow with plenty of food and available family.  We had a rugged few weeks leading up to the big day but eventually there comes a point where reality hits and I can relax. 

The show in the previous post finally ended.  Tuesday was scrambling to fill in spots from sick children, Wednesday was canceled, Thursday was close. 

We started shopping on Wednesday.  Our family prepares by making a list for Santa.  The list has a precise number allowed (this year was five) and the one most wanted marked with a star.  Mom & Dad talk to Santa (shop).  This is a start.  We finished on an all day jaunt on Saturday.  Poor Little Missey she has run for nearly three weeks on one project or another.

For dinner we have a family tradition of asking what everyone would like.  Of course after all this time I could recite the list in my sleep, but sometimes new things are added.  Every holiday meal starts with the basic meat, mashed potatoes & gravy, bread, plain vegetable with butter and beverage.  This insures that the little ones (and there are always some around) have something to eat.  At least half of the rest of the meal is cold salads because they can be prepared ahead of time.  In winter one choice is always taffy apple salad.  Noodle salad with vegetables is popular but depends on the price of vegetables.  This year I decided to splurge  so made several happy.  I like broccoli salad but changed the recipe to be half broccoli and half cauliflower–very tasty.  Grits brought a good strawberry salad concotion (sorry she didn’t leave a name) and deviled eggs.  This year’s desserts were very simple: pumpkin pies and pumpkin cake.  The grocery list isn’t hard to remember. 

This year’s dinner was small because Little Missey caught the bug going round the Studio and wanted to be held.  I had suspected this and planned accordingly.  Still, it is an undertaking, after all not too many recipes begin with add 3 pounds of diced apples to two one pound cans of drained pineapple.

What is our saving grace is our rut/traditions.  After years of living near family and running ourselves ragged moving 400+ miles was a blessing.  We developed our own routine and gladly give it to our grown children.

The routine begins on Christmas Eve day.  The children pull a name out of the hat for each other and Dad takes them shopping.  We give a limit of $10 or less depending on each years funds.  This began as a way to save my sanity as Dad took the four (then) shopping at the local Walmart so mom could cook/clean.  He also took the time to shop for mom.  Now I take some, usually the youngers and get home quickly and the store is whatever we are brave enough to tackle.  The stores own closing time gives us a dead line which is very nice.

Once everyone is home we wrap and finish up cooking.  Then, after a suitable time, we unwrap those gifts.  We start from youngest to oldest and uwrap one at a time.  Each gift is admired and any accompanying story told.  This can take at least an hour.  The toys are played with and sometimes we put in a Christmas cartoon.  Bedtime as soon as possible–we aim for 8/9 and usually everyone is asleep by 10ish. 

There were some unexpected benefits.  The little ones enjoy looking for a present for their name.  They have to think of what that person would like.  At first, when they are young, this isn’t so easy but it doesn’t take long to understand the concept.  Even better, it is a pressure relief valve.  One present tonight that is played with and loved.  Sometimes I think we could stop there, but we never do.

Because I’m such a with-it person most years the wrappings are done Christmas Eve.  This year each child got 7 gifts X 6 at home + assorted others = a long night.  This year I finished by 2 a.m. but not before trying to wrap Grits & Davo’s gift and tearing the paper in 6 different places as it was odd shaped.  I plunked it in a large pink baby shower bag and called it good.  Fyah’s fiance just got a bow on hers.  Oh well.  Usually I listen to music on the radio.  The local station plays seasonal songs from Thanksgiving to Christmas Day.  Unfortunately dh’s new alarm clock isn’t radio so it was a silent night.  I miss hearing “Walking ’round in women’s underwear” while wrapping.

Last year Dh’s parents had finally retired to our area.  We expanded the evening to go to their home for presents.  On the way home we drove down Candy Cane Lane in a local town–one entire street where the neighbors work to decorate.  The main home has an elaborate Santa’s workshop in the front yard and it is just a sight in the night darkness.  Then home for presents.  With mil gone this year fil went north to his sisters so we went back to our rut.

Our kids get a stocking with candy, an ornament, a toy of some kind, and in the past a hot cocoa cup.  They can get into their stocking as soon as they wake up and eat their candy as much & as fast as they want.  If there are any unwrapped presents, they are for everyone and can also be played with.  We are seldom waked up before 8 and this year made it to nearly 9.  Not bad when a small daughter admired the tree at 3 am and two boys where up at 5:50 am.

Christmas morning is ours.  The meat is started cooking while we all get our hot beverage of choice.  Presents are unwrapped in a ritual started by my dad.  Youngest child chooses a present and gives to dad, who then tells them who to give it to.  To keep peeking down (ha) the tags are on the bottom and sometimes include names.  We watch and admire each present before opening the next.  If we need to stop for more food, or more recently a phone call, we do.  There is no rush and this can last for hours.  It is lovely.

When presents are done I begin finishing dinner.  Usually it is eaten between 1 or 2 o’clock.  We crowd around the table to eat and talk.  Our table is getting rather crowded now but it is a nice thing.  After dinner mom is done.  Eventually food is put away and some dishes run in the dishwasher.  Now we nibble and play with toys and video games.  There are no tvs in the bedrooms so we watch each other and comment as needed.  Grits & Davo arrived as we began eating while Fyah & Co. came later.

I love this rut and I love my kids.  My best advice–strongly urged and nagged was to keep Christmas morning for themselves.  DO NOT leave the house until at least noon.  Once they have kids they will appreciate this.  If they want they are welcome to come Christmas eve, but don’t feel obliged, instead come Christmas afternoon to eat, visit and play.   This leaves eve for the family on the other side if needed.

Once we started in our rut the holiday became much more enjoyable.  I stopped trying to be happy and make everyone happy.  It is impossible to command happiness.  Happiness is etherial and fleeting, refusing to be commanded by anyone anywhere.  Instead, my goal is the satisfaction of knowing that everything got done that needed to be done and everyone had an enjoyable day.  It gives me a great deal of satisfaction to see my family so enjoying the day, the food and each other.  Then, when least expected in comes happiness.  She may be fleeting & flighty but she seems to enjoy a job well done and for that I am eternally grateful.

December 26 is Mom’s holiday.  Leftovers for eating, no to-do list, no chores, no return day hell.  The 26th is for absolutely nothing at all but baby and toys, movies and games with some referee skills from the recliner.  The real world will return soon enough like Scarlett said tomorrow is alway another day.